how we make things harder on ourselves

We, as moms, carry a lot of weight on our shoulders. We feel guilty about things we shouldn’t, we worry about things that others don’t, we have fears people without children would never consider. We run our families, our households, multiple schedules, all the errands, you name it and we probably do it. With that being said – wouldn’t you think that it makes sense to (sometimes) take the easy way out rather than add more things to our plate?

So, why do we always make things harder on ourselves?

In the social media world, I constantly see moms (and people in general) adding things to do their to do list that they could probably skip. It seems important to them to do these things, but from an outsiders perspective – sometimes I think we would all get by just fine without them. This is going to be semi-controversial as not all moms are going to agree with me, many will continue to stand by their choices and thats fine because we’re all allowed to have opinions. Here are some examples:

  1. Making our own baby food. So many women decide to make their own baby food. It sounds healthier because they know that they haven’t added anything, there is nothing secretly inside of there, they pureed it and froze it themselves. BUT lets just think for a second about how most babies spit 99.9% of that baby food back out. By the time your child has got the hang of eating this pureed, flavorless vegetable.. they have teeth and most likely chew a steamed version of the same thing. So why go through all of that work when we as a society have survived on Gerbers jarred baby food for who the heck knows how many years now?
  2. Cloth diapering. Yes, this is great for your carbon foot print. It is. But the idea of washing poop diaper cloth just does not appeal to me in any way. It doesn’t. In fact, anytime my children have had blowouts – the clothing they were wearing went into the trash because it was not worth the work of cleaning to save a $5 onesie.
  3. Breastfeeding. Is breastfeeding great for a baby? Yes. 100%. Is breastfeeding your baby through medical dilemmas, depression, anxiety, eating issues, etc. worth it? I don’t truly believe so. If breastfeeding is causing you SO MUCH trouble that both you and your baby are feeling negative effects from it – then get yourself to Walmart and find a formula that is right for you and your baby. Formula has fed a ridiculous amount of children over the years, each one just as healthy and strong and smart as the breastfed standing next to them. Am I saying to give up right away? Absolutely not, but there is a point in your journey when you have to wonder if this is really beneficial for you both if you and your baby are struggling every single meal.
  4. Not asking for help. I spent the majority of my time as a parent never asking for help. Insisting that I was capable of doing it all because after all, I am the mom. I would let myself get stressed, become resentful that no one could see I needed help and just offer on their own, and then become upset that I was so overwhelmed. What I learned is that if you need help, you need to ask. Whether its something simple or something big, no one can help you if you reach out. Why make things harder on yourself by never asking even when you really need it?
  5. Never allowing our children to be away from us. I know lots of moms that stay home and when you stay home, you are the one person your child sees day in day out which obviously forms an attachment. Completely natural that they’d become attached to their number one go to person in the world. BUT I think at a certain point it becomes unhealthy and detrimental to their future. If you can’t leave the room without your children freaking out, it may be an issue. Allow your child some time away from you, learning to listen to another adult will be so beneficial in the long run since they are in school for 13 years of their lives with other adults. It is easy to want to keep them close while their little, but they aren’t ours to keep. We have to let them go explore this big world at some point, so why not help them adjust while they’re still so adaptable?
  6. Helicopter parenting. I have seen many kids fall down, completely unharmed, and their moms come swooping in to baby them for a boo boo they did not acquire. To me, this makes things harder on yourself because now, every time your child takes a spill (which is A LOT with newly mobile toddlers) they are going to have quite a flare for the dramatics. I am not saying by any means to just not care if they fall, but there is a huge difference between a small fall on their tush and a tumble down the stairs. Create the right expectation.
  7. Cleaning products. On top of already having to keep your house clean, kids clean, self clean, car clean, animals clean, etc do we really need to also make our own cleaning products? There are so many green, organic, environmentally friendly options. And again, we’ve been using the same ones for all of eternity. Just staaaaahp.

I know some of this is going to come off as unkind, judgmental, like I don’t care but I promise I do. I want to see all moms succeed, always. But I just think there are a lot of ways in which we create problems for ourselves. What do you think?

xoxo K

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